Living in Cyborgia: One Month Anniversary

Not MY head.  I only have ONE implant.

    Just before I left on vacation with my sons, I visited my surgeon’s office for my one-month, post-activation, check-up.  Aside from the fact that I was already wearing my cochlear implant, it was almost exactly the same as my activation visit one month earlier.  I saw the audiologist, we checked out all the electrodes in my head, tested for the loudest input I could tolerate, and then reprogrammed my devices with those new levels.

As it turned out, not much had changed from the month before.  The audiologist said that the changes were measurable, but “subtle.”  Regardless, it made a noticeable difference but because the changes were small, I will not return for another visit for three more months.  But while the computer may not be measuring much change, I can “hear” my brain changing.

    When my implant was first activated, everyone sounded like Mickey Mouse or the munchkins from the Wizard of Oz.  As time has passed, I find that people still sound weird but not quite as weird as before.  Voices are, slowly, getting easier to understand and I have occasionally even turned on talk radio.  There I can, depending on the voice of the host, understand some of what is being said where a few months ago I could understand very little, if anything.  When the car is moving and there is lots of road noise, understanding is a lot harder and, for the most part, not worth doing.  Still, it’s an improvement. 

    Sunday, I tried to listen while my friend Ken preached at church.  While what I heard and understood was noticeably different than what I heard a few months ago (which was absolutely nothing, because it sounded like Charlie Brown’s teacher – wah wah wah), and while I could understand bits and pieces of his sermon, it took a lot of concentration and I didn’t get a lot out of it (Sorry Ken).  Even so, I am encouraged by the improvement because I can tell that something is going on.  Even if my progress is slow, and even if I get frustrated that it isn’t going faster, I can tell that my brain is changing.

    A few folks have asked, and I know more are wondering, so yes, I am doing my “physical therapy” but probably not as often as I should.   I’m supposed to listen to myself talk and say the alphabet and lots of other things.  I don’t do that as often as I think I should, but I do listen to my family (and other people) talk and it is noticeably easier to understand them.  As we drove to Colorado and back, I could carry on actual conversations with my sons which would have been completely impossible just a few months ago.

    Clearly, there the road ahead remains long, and progress remains slow, but overall, the news from Cyborgia is good. 

There is progress.

Slowly but surely, I am re-learning how to hear.

And that’s good news.

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Join the Adventure!  

Earlier posts about my hearing adventure can be found here: My Hearing Journey.
Read them all or just catch up on what you've missed!

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Cyborg Adventure: Activation!

    Two days ago, on June 30, 2014, I again visited my surgeon’s office and finally received the outside part of my implant.  This event is normally referred to as “Activation.”  It is the moment when the external electronics (the processor) are added to the internal implant and the electrodes which were implanted deep in my inner ear.

    Despite my repeated warnings that there would be a long learning curve, I think that some people still expected my hearing to miraculously return to normal.  I knew that wasn’t going to happen, and it didn’t.  Even so, the chief audiologist (who was in charge of the activation) felt that it went quite well.  During the activation, the electrodes (there are twelve) were turned on, one at a time, making a tone that increased in volume.  While it did so, I was to point to a chart that indicated my perception of the loudness until it reached a point where it was uncomfortably loud.  That happened eleven times but on one of the electrodes, no matter what “volume” it was at, it felt uncomfortable.  It was strange.  While it did not “sound” loud, I could still “feel” the volume as if I was listening to a bass drum and could feel the “thump.”  According to the audiologist, eleven out of twelve was very good as some people can only discern the levels of volume on a handful of electrodes the first time.

    After all of the testing, and programming was done, we spent over an hour going over all of the accessories and attachments that come with the implant.  I had heard others with a cochlear implant talk about “the briefcase” that they received at activation, and discovered that “briefcase” is not a metaphor or an exaggeration.  I received a real, physical briefcase that was full of spare parts, batteries, wires, and other things as well as an entire shopping bag full of other pieces and parts.  I also have a thick stack of instruction manuals that I am supposed to read over.  Despite spending considerable time going over this with the audiologist, I will be spending a fair amount of time looking over all of these things again and figuring out how and when to use them.

What’s it like?

    For now, as my brain reorients itself to this new way of hearing, the world sounds strange.  I have heard the words “robotic” and Electronic” used to describe it and those certainly apply.  Sometimes people around me (and my own voice) sound like they’ve been sucking helium or are imitating Mickey Mouse.  It’s weird.  The good news is, even though the world doesn’t sound like it’s supposed to sound, I can hear things that I haven’t heard in years.  When we came out of the doctor’s office and started the car, it beeped to remind us to fasten our seat belts and I heard it.  I had no idea that our car made that noise and had never heard it before.  I can hear my phone ring, and water running in the sink, and the click of my computer mouse and I haven’t heard those things in a long time.  Yesterday, as I went out to retrieve the newspaper, I might even have heard a bird sing, though I’m not sure because it sounded weird.

So what’s next?

    As expected, I received a list of exercises that I need to do as “physical therapy.”  I am to take my hearing aid out and, hearing only with my implant, say the alphabet out loud, or count out loud.  I am to have my family read children’s books to me as I read the words so that my brain can begin to relearn what the sounds are.  My cousin, who also has a cochlear implant, said that “weird” will last for a while but my audiologist told me that in six months they hoped that I would be able to hear (understand) as well as I could before my surgery.  After that, they said that I could expect continuing improvement for up to a year, and possibly even two years.

    I knew before we started that this is not a quick fix and, while in some ways things are already better, I know that this journey is going to take a while.

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Earlier posts about my hearing adventure:

Surgery and Recovery                                        June 6, 2014

T-minus Two Weeks and Counting                    May 5, 2014

Cyborg Adventure: Realistic Expectations         April 15, 2014
Managing Expectations                                     March 24, 2014
A New Cyborg Adventure                               March 12, 2014
Reflections on Going Deaf                                June 30, 2011

Ahimaaz - Patron Saint of Cross Country Running?

    I have two children who run.  Not just a little, they run a lot.  During this time of the year my son and daughter are training for the upcoming Cross-Country season in which they will race other students and other schools in races that are 3.2 miles long.  Each day they can run six to eight miles during practice and often, added to that, they work out in the weight room or do yoga core exercises.  They make me tired just hearing about their workouts.  This past week, as I prepared for Sunday’s message I discovered a man who is, perhaps, the first cross-country runner named in the Bible. 

    Of course there were many runners before him.  Before cell-phones or radio, the way that battlefield commanders communicated with their kings and their armies was by sending runners or riders.  In the time of Samuel, Israel wasn’t known for having many horses so they would send runners back and forth carrying important messages and news.  In 2 Samuel 18, as the king’s armies pursue David’s traitorous son Absalom, David’s General, Joab captures Absalom quite by accident (Absalom’s hair got snagged in the low lying branches of a tree) and plunges three javelins through his chest despite David’s orders to treat him gently.  

    A man by the name of Ahimaaz son of Zadok volunteers to carry the news to David but a Cushite runner is selected to carry the news instead.  Undeterred, Ahimaaz again asks Joab for permission to run to Jerusalem saying, “Come what may, please let me run behind the Cushite.”  Joab the general is puzzled by this and asks why Ahimaaz would want to go especially since this is not good news and there will be no reward at the other end.  To this Ahimaaz replies, “Come what may, I want to run.”  At this Joab allows the young man to run but Ahimaaz, despite giving the Cushite a significant head start, runs a different route and arrives in the king’s court first.

    The notable thing about this story is not only that Ahimaaz liked to run and was evidently pretty good at it, but that he honors Joab and despite arriving first, does not announce the news of Absalom’s death.  The official message was given to the Cushite and Ahimaaz allows him to give the news to David.  When he is questioned about the welfare of Absalom, the king’s son, Ahimaaz says only, “I saw great confusion just as Joab was about to send the king’s servant and me, your servant, but I don’t know what it was.”

    The patience and self-control of Ahimaaz shows, I think, a stark contrast from the impatience and self-importance of Joab.  Joab heard the king’s command not to harm Absalom, and one of Joab’s lieutenants even reminded him of their orders but Joab insists that he is not going to wait and kills David’s son immediately.  Ahimaaz is known as a good man by the watchmen on the walls of Jerusalem and he shows it through his obedience, patience and self-control.  

    I think that it is fitting that Ahimaaz is perhaps the first man in the Bible who is said to love running.  Cross Country is not a quick dash to the supermarket.  Cross Country athletes often train all year long, they run miles and miles every day and their races often take 20 to 30 minutes to complete.  Cross Country is a sport that requires an abundance of patience and self-control and Ahimaaz, I think, is a fitting role model.