Twelve Toxic Attitudes that Kill Churches

    I have witnessed ugliness in the church.  Both as a layperson and as a pastor, I have witnessed attitudes so unhealthy that they become toxic to the health of the church.  Most often these attitudes are limited to a handful of people, but occasionally these attitudes become a part of the church culture.  How much damage is done by these attitudes depends upon how many are present and how many people adopt them.   

Like any poison, the more there is, the sicker the patient is likely to become.

I want churches to be healthy. 

    My hope is that this list will spur a conversation within the church so that we can move toward health.

1)      We don’t want to be challenged – We don’t want to hear about how God is calling us to ministry, or to missions.  We don’t want to be told that we should pray more, or read the Bible, or study.  Challenging sermons tell us that we can do better, and that makes us feel like we aren’t good enough.

2)      We don’t want training – Whenever someone mentions training we know that they want us to do something new.  If we are trained, we will be expected to do more.  Asking us to get training means that you think we aren’t doing enough.  Honestly, we don’t want to do anything that we aren’t already doing.

3)      We don’t want to hear about “evangelism” or “outreach.”  - We’re all friends here, we’re comfortable with the way things are and we really don’t want to meet new people who might want to change things.  We don’t want to go door to door, or pass out tracts, or witness to our friends, family or coworkers.  We know what the Bible says we should do, but that would make us uncomfortable.

 

4)      We don’t want to change – Change makes us uncomfortable.  We don’t want to build anything, we don’t want to remodel the classrooms, or move to a bigger (or smaller) building.  We don’t even want to change the order of worship or try different music. 

5)      We don’t to be too “spiritual” - We don’t want to live differently, talk differently, act differently or memorize scripture.  We fit in the way we are and we don’t want our neighbors and friends to think that we’re “Jesus freaks” or zealots, or radicals or anything.

6)      We don’t want new technology – We don’t use the Internet so we don’t really care if the church uses a webpage, Facebook, Twitter, or any of that online stuff.  We don’t want flat screens or projectors in the sanctuary.  If it doesn’t benefit us, the pastor and staff don’t really need to waste their time on it.

 

7)      We don’t really want new members – We say that we want to grow because we know that we’re supposed to, but we don’t.  If new people come, they’ll have new ideas and want to do things differently.  We would love to have new people who are just like us, but we don’t really want anyone who is different because they might want to change things.

8)      We don’t really want to go deeper - We know that our pastor wants us to spend time in prayer, read the Bible and attend Sunday school or Bible study.  He calls this “going deeper” but we’re afraid that if we learn too much, God will ask us to change.

9)      We don’t want to feel bad about ourselves – We don’t want the pastor to talk about money, or giving (and certainly not tithing) because it sounds like we aren’t giving enough.  We don’t want to hear what the Bible says because we’re afraid that we won’t measure up.  We don’t want to hear about how rich we are, or how poor people live because we might be expected to do something to help.  In general, we don’t want to hear anything that might make us feel like we aren’t what God wants us to be, or that we could do better, because we don’t want to feel bad about ourselves.

 

10)   We expect the pastor and staff to do what we tell them – The pastor is not our leader, teacher or coach.  To us, the pastor is just another employee.  We don’t have to do what they ask, but we expect them to do exactly what we tell them to do, to preach what we tell them, and not to preach what we tell them. 

11)   Church growth is not our responsibility - We pay the pastor to do things like visitation, evangelism, and outreach so we don’t have to.  Growing the church is their job, not ours.

12)   We want a chaplain instead of a pastor - We want someone to tell us that we’re okay just the way we are.  We want someone who will tell us that we are good people.  We don’t want to take care of others; we want someone to take care of us.  We want someone who will be there when we’re sick, make us feel good on Sunday, pray over our covered dish dinners and, when the time comes, conduct our funerals and... close our church.

What do you think?

Have you seen these attitudes in your church?

Are there others that should be added to the list?

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Reprogramming My Head

    A week or so ago, I returned to my audiologist, John, who programs my cochlear implant.  It’s a little confusing when I describe it, because I still see Walt, the audiologist who takes care of the hearing aid in my other ear.  Anyway, we started out the way that the last couple sessions started.  John connected my implant to his computer and ran through a series of tones to see how my brain was adapting to the electrical impulses from my implant. 

    But before we got very far, he took me down the hall to the soundproof booths that are used for hearing tests.  There, he re-ran the test that was required to be approved for surgery.  In that test, a voice reads random sentences and you have to repeat back any words (or whole sentences) that you can understand.  This test is run one ear at a time, so I took off my hearing aid and listened only with my implant.  I thought I did well, but John seemed excited.  We laughed because one of the sentences said something about the gecko that is on television commercials.  For some reason, John was very pleased that I had understood the word “gecko.” 

    After he did the math and calculated the results of my test, I understood why he was so pleased.  In the same test, prior to my surgery, I had understood 7 percent of the words.  Now, four months post-implant, I understood 70 percent of the words.  No wonder people keep telling me that my hearing is noticeably better.

    After the testing, John tried some more programming.  Whatever he did was too much made everything sound like my head was inside a garbage can, so he tried some other things.  Along the way, we discovered that of the 12 electrodes that were inserted into my cochlea, two of them don’t seem to be doing much.  Ten of them I can “hear” but the last two, while I can “feel” them, I don’t really “hear” anything with them.  For each electrode, John turns up the volume until I say that it is “uncomfortably loud.”  But for those two electrodes, there really isn’t a “loud” and a “soft.”  I sort of hear something, but it doesn’t really get louder as he turns up the input.  What I notice, is that in one ear, instead of getting loud, I can feel the volume pounding in my head much like you can feel a loud bass thump from a big speaker at a rock concert.  I feel it more than hear it.  The other electrode is similar, I don’t hear it or feel it, but instead, at high “volumes” I can feel my head hurt.  It’s like I have a bad headache that pules with the beat, on, off, on, off, on, off. 

    In the end, John turned off those two electrodes.  His thinking is that if these electrodes aren’t working by now, they aren’t going to.  Most likely, they are in a part of the cochlea that has more nerve damage and isn’t really “talking” to my brain anymore.  In any case, my implant can function with only four electrodes, so I should be just fine with ten.  Before I left, John finished reprogramming everything using the ten working electrodes, as well as some additional changes and enhancements that I now have to get used to.  It wasn’t as much as he had hoped to do, but we’re still moving forward.  John said that for being only four months after my surgery, he felt I was doing very well.

And so the adventure continues.   Not with giant leaps forward, but with baby steps.

But forward is still forward.

Onward.

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Join the Adventure!  

Earlier posts about my hearing adventure can be found here: My Hearing Journey.
Read them all or just catch up on what you've missed!

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Taxing Churches Might Be Good

    There is much talk about removing the tax-exemption for churches and that might be a good thing. 

    Please understand, I am convinced that taxing churches would probably be bad for our communities.  While they would see a modest increase in property taxes, they would also find themselves with a number of large, empty buildings that are notoriously difficult to resell or re-purpose.  At the same time, they would lose meeting places for a host of civic groups (from Rotary Clubs to Cub Scouts) as well as Election Day polling places.  For these, and other reasons that I explained in my blog (Taxes: Should the Church Pay?), taxing churches would cost our communities more than they would gain. 

So what good could come from taxing churches?

Quite simply, it would be good for the church.

    Under the present system, other than the cost of construction and maintenance (which are considerable), there is no cost, no penalty, to the church for overbuilding new space or for under-utilizing existing space.  Too often, the church suffers from an edifice complex, in which they feel better about themselves if their building is bigger than the church down the street. 

    New churches build bigger than they need and old churches stay in buildings long after they can no longer afford them.  Older congregations that are losing membership typically occupy a building that they own.  The mortgage, if any, was paid off decades ago.  Those shrinking congregations inhabit buildings that would hold three to five times their number but they remain for reasons of sentimentality and tradition and because, other than maintenance, there is no cost to staying.  While the church remains in the community and may allow others to use some of their space, the majority of the church budget is dedicated to maintaining the building and not to the mission of the church.

    But we NEED the room!  Do you really need that much room?  O sure it’s nice to be able to fit your entire congregation into the sanctuary all at once, but how much extra does it cost to have three (or even five) worship service each week instead of one compared to how much it costs to maintain a building big enough to house everyone all at once?  In my last appointment, there was a Baptist church across town that only seated fifty and so they had to have tow or three series to accommodate everyone.  They longed for a building as big as ours, which seated two or three hundred, but we knew that the cost of maintaining ours was a nightmare.  Maybe it makes sense to have a big building if you use it all week long and have multiple worship services during the week, but how is it good stewardship to have a building that sits empty six days every week?

    For larger churches, paying property taxes may cause them to rethink how they use their buildings and encourage them use their space more efficiently.  And if some churches can pay their taxes and still maintain colossal edifices (and their members are willing to contribute to that), then so be it.

    For small churches it is entirely possible, in fact likely, that the imposition of property taxes would cause many of them to walk away from their buildings and become house churches.  I don’t think that’s a bad thing.  As a house church, freed from the burden of paying to maintain and heat a building they couldn’t really afford, they could now use those funds to accomplish the mission of the church.  To feed the poor, clothe the naked, heal the sick, and carry the gospel to the four corners of the earth. 

    For a church to spend its wealth maintaining a building for the sake of pride or tradition at the expense of the mission is sin.

And if paying taxes can drive the church back to its mission…

…that would be good.

Your Next Pastor May Not be Human

    There are, today, many large churches in which the people enter the sanctuary… and watch their pastor on television.  These are called “multi-site” churches and this may happen in your church sooner than you think.

    While sitting through several sessions at Annual Conference last week, and listening to reports, some of the numbers began to nag at me.  I am an engineer and numbers mean something.  In particular, as I listened to our bishop, Bishop John Hopkins, as well as visiting bishop, Bishop Janice Huie from the Texas Conference, speak about the age of our clergy members; the numbers told me something about the future.  What they told me is this:

In ten years, our church will be very different.

    I admit, you may still have a human pastor, but maybe not, and maybe not in the way you are accustomed to having one.

    Here are the numbers.  In East Ohio, we have 748 churches with 586 pastors.  At present, 60 percent of our pastors are 55 or older, and 6 percent are under the age of 34.  Nationwide, those numbers aren’t much different.  According to Bishop Huie, 54% of all ordained elders are age 55-72.  In 2000, that number was only 30 percent.

    For the last ten years we have ordained, between five and seven new elders annually.  This year we had the largest class in a very long time, and there were thirteen.

    During those same ten years, we have retired between twenty and thirty five pastors every year.

    To be fair, the number of ordinations and the number of retirees is not an accurate comparison because the retirees include many local pastors as well as ordained elders.  Even so, it seems to be a fairly visible hint of things to come.

    These numbers were announced and displayed for everyone at Annual Conference, so what has me so convinced that we are about to witness a major change in ministry?

    Think about it.  If 60 percent of our pastors are 55+, that means 60 percent of our pastors will retire within the next decade.  If the pastors of 60 percent of 748 churches retire, that means that 448 churches will need a new pastor.  Sixty percent of 586 pastors is 351.  If we also assume that we can somehow duplicate our efforts this year, and ordain 13 pastors every year for the next ten years instead of only 5, we will ordain only 130 new elders.

We will ordain 130 elders to fill 448 empty pulpits.

    Of course, this doesn’t count the addition of local pastors.  This year we elected 44 new candidates for ministry, discontinued 6 candidates and also discontinued 16 local pastors and 2 provisional elders.  If we assume these numbers as averages for the next ten years and also remember that those ordained (13) must also come from the ranks of the candidates for ministry, in the end we gained 7 local pastors.

    Over a decade, that gives us 70 local pastors to add to our 130 elders for a total of 200 pastors.

That still leaves us 248 pulpits short.

Unless every pastor fills two or more pulpits.

    If the math holds, in the next ten years, we will bring in 200 new pastors to replace 351 retirees.

    Of course there are other factors that will play into this.  Our conference (and others) has expended considerable effort to attract young clergy, but in the last decade we’ve managed to raise the percentage of young (under 35) clergy by only 2 percent.  Even if we continue to improve, this alone isn’t going to fix the problem.

    Currently, to fill the existing ‘clergy gap’ we’ve invited more than fifty retirees to pastor these churches as well as 18 pastors from outside our conference and denomination.

    This means that our shortfall may not be as bad as the numbers initially suggest, but the trend tells us something.

    In the next decade we will care for God’s people but to do so will require change.  We may well employ more part-time pastors and student pastors.  In addition, more local pastors and elders will find themselves serving more than one church.  But we may also experiment with new models of ministry.  We may try multi-site churches, where one pastor preaches in multiple locations via video, and we may go back to our roots and try a twenty-first century version of the circuit rider.  We may try many things, but one thing is almost certain.

In ten years, our church will be very different.

Life Out of Control

    In my last post (Sometimes Bad Things Happen) I noted that life doesn’t always seem fair.  Likewise, life doesn’t always happen the way we want it to, or the way that we expect it to happen.  Most of us have learned that this is true, and see that those folks who insist on being “in control” are often miserable. Learning how to tolerate and adapt to these sorts of unexpected changes would seem to be an important key to our happiness.  But that doesn’t mean that adjusting to these changes will be easy.  Scripture tells us story after story in which even God’s best and brightest, God’s hand picked leaders, feel out of control.

    David was anointed king and but for years afterward was running for his life.  King Saul (not unexpectedly) was jealous of David and resented him.  Saul personally tried to kill David on several occasions and sent the entire army of Israel to search for him.  There are several Psalms that David wrote during that time that cry out to God and ask why this is happening to him.

    Noah may have been the only righteous man on earth, but I am certain that he did not expect God to flood the world or to spend a hundred years building a giant boat.

    Joshua and Caleb did the right thing.  They did as Moses asked and went into the Promised Land with the other spies.  They returned, along with the others, with their report, and they stood up against the fear of the other spies.  While everyone else was afraid that the people in the land were too big and too powerful, it was Joshua and Caleb that held fast to their faith in God.  They argued against all the others that if God called them to fight, then God would lead them to victory no matter how big, or how powerful, the people were.  Despite doing everything right themselves, they spent forty years in the desert because of someone else’s mistakes.

    Scripture doesn’t tell us what happened to all of Jesus’ disciples but there are historical records for some and legends that tell of others.  From these sources we find that, with the singular exception of John, all twelve of the disciples were killed in one way or another.  Some were given the opportunity to live if they would only deny Jesus.  They died for telling the truth.

    Jesus prayed for a way to avoid dying on the cross but he was arrested in the middle of the night (which was questionable), tried in an illegal court, and convicted of a crime that he didn’t commit.  While we know that this was all a part of God’s plan, even Jesus was hoping for something different.

    Our lives are often marked by chaos but “out of control” and “abnormal” happens to everyone.   Life is unpredictable.  While we struggle to adapt, it helps to remember unexpected and painful changes happened to the good guys, even to the heroes, and yes, even to Jesus.